Cameron’s denial – a topical poem

Cameron’s Denial
#piggate #pmqs

I’m delighted the honourable gentleman
asked me that question. To clarify; the pig
didn’t have its throat slit so it could sexually
gratify me, but had been dead
some time when I placed my little
pink manhood in its stiff, cold jaws. Nor
was I arrested and fined fifty Pounds
for taking without paying for
three pairs of bright red knickers
from Tescos at Leamington Spa.
Nor did I pay good money, with
the Queen’s head on it, for the privilege
of laying half a pound of raw liver
across an elderly
prostitute’s belly. Nor was I any
part of the group who put yams
up Boris’s bottom for a lark.

These are just tales chums
concoct to make one look
excellenter even than one
already knows one is.


7 comments on “Cameron’s denial – a topical poem

  1. Ye, alright, think this story (below) sort of says more about the system, not that I didn’t chuckle when I heard about it yesterday.

    Still think that the Bullingdon Club jolly jape of making George Osborne repeat ‘I’m a cunt, I’m a cunt’ whilst the nation’s, nay part of the world’s, future rulers poured champagne over his head, cause he only went to Harrow and was considered only nouveau riche, says more about, well, we’ve had that debate on SU and I kind of had to agree with the case for the prosecution, so I’ll only use it as reported speech.

  2. Neil,

    Sorry yes – though I’ve made mistakes I cared more about. The same public school as that creep currently looking to get his snout back into the Brussels trough, Nick Clegg.

  3. Oh no, I’ve just checked that. His was Westminister. I give up. Public schools aren’t my thing. I give up.

  4. jim mclean on said:

    Oh no, I’ve just checked that. His was Westminister. I give up. Public schools aren’t my thing. I give up.

    Come to Scotland, a Public School, like in the US of A, is council run. Snobs go to Private Schools. (From now on I am going to say I went to a Public School.

  5. What’s really strange is the people not denying it (and to be honest, I find it difficult to believe that any functionally sane person would actually do something like that) but trying to normalise it.

    From the Daily Mail comments:
    “Normal uni student then”
    “We all do stupid things when we are younger!”
    “Oh arrest him for having a laugh, seriously lighten up.”
    “All of them do this and from all parties.”
    “Bet all the opposition love this. I wonder what they have in their closet. Bet he wasn’t the only one up to stupid acts.”
    “So what , he was a drunken student.”
    “Why is this news we all did silly things at uni so what he’s human”
    Etc, etc…

    No, that shit is not normal. We do not all do things like that, drunk or sober. A working class person would be put in an institution (either prison or mental hospital) for doing things like that.

    Also, when working class people buy and use cocaine, that’s a crime. When David Cameron and his pals allegedly do it (if Lord Ashcroft is to be believed), then it’s a mere indiscretion. Because the rules are different if you’re rich and right-wing (to say nothing of white, male, etc).